Reckoning and The Road Back
When You're Scared & Alone & Then Suddenly, Realize You Don't Have to Be One of Those.
Oh boy.
I totally wasn’t ready.
I didn’t know what I was doing when I started this Substack (I still don’t), but some of you read the thing I wrote, and so now I really must get things in order.
First off -
Nope. That doesn’t feel right.
I think instead, I’ll just keep going and ask you about tea times.
Tea Time Talks and Virtual Hugs
I’ve had this idea for a while to do virtual tea times.
You could drink coffee or Diet Sprite or a Martini.
(I don’t really think that part matters.)
It’s more that I miss connecting with you all, but social media is hard.
That’s why this all took me by surprise - a bunch of you here.
Hi!
I’ve missed you so much!
If I post on You Know Where with the photos and now the videos, it reaches 4,000 of you or 11 of you and I never know why.
And so, I started dreaming and planning in a notebook and this is what I came up with …
A Little Time to Chat and Such
I thought it might be fun to do some virtual tea times with you - and by YOU - I mean just one of you at a time so we can focus, you know?
We can dig right into the big stuff, and it will be just you and me.
You could choose your own adventure and we could talk about:
Homeschool stuff/post-homeschool
Journaling
Anxiety (or anxiety and ADHD or just ADHD)
Just ADHD
Business!
These are all areas where I feel like we could have a nice, hearty talk, and yet please keep in mind I am not a doctor or a coach. This would be real-life, mom to mom support, practical ideas, funny stories about how I did whatever the wrong way first … you know …
And Then … Fun Stuff!
And then, because it’s one of my favorite things to do, I could send you a little care package afterwards.
And it would have stuff in it like:
tea (unless you tell me tea is bath water to you and then I will skip this)
stickers
washi tape
pens/markers
fun office supply/paper things
chocolate or treats
bookmarks
inspiring little cards/notes
stones/crystals
self-care stuff
little candles
trinkets
doo-dads
what’s it’s
stuff to make you smile
My heart says I would just tailor the package to you and our conversation, because then it would be packed with love.
And you would have this little reminder - my friend Kara sent me this to remind me that I am a tough bunny and can do this.
Oh my gosh, you guys - should we call them Kara Packages?
Or is that too much?
The REAL Experts
Plus, I am thinking I will put together (OK - so I already started doing this in the aforementioned notebook) a list of real, tried and true experienced experts who can help with a variety of stuff like life coaches and other smart folks, but no randos because it’s already hard enough for us to ask for help and invest in ourselves.
Why?
Why? Why do this? Why now?
I don’t know.
Where do ideas come from?
Elizabeth Gilbert says “the universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them.”
And so somewhere along the way, this little jewel started poking me and I thought it was a kidney stone or I’d swallowed a fork, because it would just not let up …
And so … I can’t not try.
Because I did it the other way …
I went dark. I closed up shop.
I put all my eggs in a basket, and then realized I’d picked the wrong basket.
And yet I stayed in the basket.
And none of it made sense until I read this in A Great Reckoning by Louise Penny:
page 366:
“The world turned upside-down. It was at once more beautiful and more frightening than you’d been led to believe.
And suddenly, you didn’t know what to do.
Who to trust.
Where to turn.
It’s terrifying.
Being lost is so much worse than being on the wrong road. That’s why people stay on it so long.
We’re too far gone, or so we think.
We’re tired and we’re confused and we’re scared.
And we think there’s no way back. I know.”
And then, a few pages later (on page 374), in this novel that revolves around a map, and secrets and travels and hurts and redemption and ultimately forgiveness:
“There is always a road back, if we have the courage to look for it, and take it.
I’m sorry.
I was wrong.
I don’t know.
I need help.
Those are the signposts. The cardinal directions.”
Next …
For months - but a few years, really, I thought the solution to the hurt and fear and loss and LOST, was to bury myself in blankets and cats and chastise myself for not knowing how to do this; for not knowing what NEXT was supposed to look like.
So I want to need to say:
I’m sorry.
I was wrong.
I don’t know.
I need help.
I’ve finally figured out that I don’t have to do this alone anymore.
And I don’t want you to have to either.
Would you like to schedule a tea time chat with me?
I’m starting a waiting list to see if this strange jewel is ready to shine:
Kara,
A few things stood out to me in your post. First, your heart just shines through all of your writing. Always has. So real. So honest.
Secondly, I love your idea of Tea Time and Kara Packages. I hope you get just the right amount of people interested in doing this with you. I can see it being a blessing to both you and your partner for the Tea Time.
Third, I’ve never heard of the book you quoted, but it sounds great. I love the quotes you shared.
Fourth, I think there is value in the season of being LOST. I think we can learn a lot about ourselves and those around us in that season. So please, don’t be so hard on yourself about it; the wandering served a purpose.
Finally, why Substack and not Wordpress? My teen son is wanting to start posting his writing (poetry & short stories) and most of our contacts have said to use Wordpress. Curious as to why you chose Substack.
Oh! One more thing…. Keep up the great work. You are making a difference in this world!
I love the Inspector Gamache books, and the quotes you shared and what you wrote resonate with me. Thanks for writing.